Finding the Dragon Warrior!

The 2500 year old prophecy:

It had to be done because that's what his consciousness told him. After all, nothing could stand in the way of Emperor Ashoka of Magadha, not even the kingdom of Kalinga. So hundreds and thousands of soldiers were slaughtered to fulfil the ambition of Ashoka, the ruthless. However, the proclivity of a war is such that even if one side loses and the other emerges victorious, nobody really wins. As he stood on the cliff and surveyed the battle ground, he couldn't believe his eyes as he saw a river of blood; blood of thousands of innocent people who had left behind a swarm of loved ones who were suffering in agony. The end had not justified the means. Shocked by the outcome of his greed, Ashoka gave up his sword for he was about to undertake a completely different journey.

Ashoka had come in contact with the teachings of Buddha and was instantly attracted to them. However, to further his understanding of the teaching, he set out on a journey to Bairath (in Rajasthan) to learn about Vipassana meditation from a bhikkhu named Upagupta. After 300 days, Ashoka returned to his capital as a reformed man because now his ambition was to spread the teachings of Buddha. For this quest, several elder monks were sent all over India, Greece, Syria, Egypt, etc. to propagate Dhamma (teachings of Buddha). However, two monks by the name of Sona and Uttara were sent to Suvarna Bhumi (the then Myanmar) and this is where prophecy takes its inception.

During the time of Ashoka, there was a common belief that as time progresses the essence of Buddha's teachings will be lost in most parts of the world. However, the teaching will remain in its purest form in Myanmar, and 2500 years after the time of the Buddha they will come back to the land where they had initially been realised: India.

The Calling:

Nominative Determinism is a theory which says that a person's name has some influence over what they do in life (how about that!). Among many other things, Eshan means 'the North-East direction' (lol). Now for as long as I can remember, I have been enamoured by Buddhism, monasteries, meditation, mindfulness, mountains, finding inner peace and the likes (all these are quite prevalent in the Buddhist monasteries of north east). To add fuel to the fire, The Kung Fu Panda movie series just intensified the urge to explore more. And as they say, when the student is ready, the teacher appears :)

Eons ago (a decade probably :P ), I came to know about this weird 10 day course where people don't talk to each other, don't eat much, don't drink or dance or read or listen to music and many other don'ts. And the popularity of this course was batshit crazy (the corporate honchos were going gaga over this course). Every year, at least 1 lakh people take this course all over the globe. In January 2017, I happened to visit Global Vipassana Pagoda in Gorai, Mumbai which is super duper beautiful, enchanting, calming, and mysterious all at the same time. After visiting this place, I just knew that I had to do one of those weird 10 day courses to find inner peace (let's see what this brouhaha is all about). So I enrolled in a 10 day course in Navi Mumbai.

The Kung Fu Pandaesque:

I am going to use certain terminologies from the Kung Fu Panda in this blog. Why? Because I just loooooove the movie (btw, if you haven't seen at least 1 out of 3 movie in the series, I am totally judging you. Totally!):

Jade Palace: Since the Vipassana centre in Gorai didn't have a vacancy (yeah! if you were wondering that most of these courses go vacant, you are very very wrong. It's difficult to get in), I had to make do with Dhamma Vipula Vipassana Meditation Centre in Navi Mumbai (which will be referred to as Jade Palace from now on. Dont Laugh!)

Pool of Sacred Tears: This is the place where we used to meditate most of the time. This was called the Dhamma Hall. 

Master Oogway: Remember the prophecy thingy? Well, the person who brought the teachings in their original form back to India was Mr. S.N. Goenka (who will be called Master Oogway from now on). Master Oogway learned the technique of Vipassana from his teacher Sayagyi U Ba Khin in Myanmar in late 1950s. In early 1970s, Oogway came back to India to spread awareness about Vipassana. He was awarded Padma Bhushan by the Government of India in 2012, and he moved on to the Spirit Realm (mentioned in Kung Fu Panda 3 bro!!) in September 2013. So, of course we never really got to meet him in person but all the teachings/discourses during these days were made available to us through audio/video recordings of Master Oogway. So even when he wasn't there, he was there. (See what I did there ;) ? )

Master Shifu: I don't particularly know much about the teacher who directly helped me in my 10 day course except for the fact that his name was Mr. Mahendra Shah. Yes! he looked small like Shifu and no! he never frowned like him. He was always calm and had Buddha-like smile on his face.

The Technique:

The real concept and theory of the Vipassana meditation is beyond the scope of this blog. However, one must understand that Buddha was trying to find a way to really grasp the concept of karma, reincarnation, etc. and how one can attain liberation. To keep things simple, I shall not talk about karma and life after death and all that stuff which normally 20 year olds don't care about. What you should really understand is that Vipassana helps in overcoming the deep rooted negative habits (thoughts, beliefs and actions) that have been programmed in to our sub conscious brain. The course teaches you about 3 techniques:

1. Anapana: The best way to describe this meditation is through this video:

The thing is, Mr. Rinpoche has explained the technique very well but I wish things were this simple. Why? Just try performing the above technique for 15 mins while sitting comfortably in your chair. The chances are, you WON'T be able to do this easily as mind wanders off every now and then. The only way to master (or at least getting better) the technique is - PRACTICE. Don't push too much. Don't struggle too much. Let it be. Let it be!

Truth comes in between breaths - Buddha

2. Vipassana: Some of you must have unknowingly performed this kind of meditation. In simple words, Vipassana meditation is nothing but a body scan. Let me quote the explanation from the course material:

"Move your attention systematically from head to feet and from feet to head, observing in order each and every part of the body by feeling all the sensations that you come across. Observe objectively; that is, remain equanimous with all the sensations that you experience, whether pleasant, unpleasant or neutral, by appreciating their impermanent nature. Keep your attention moving. Never stay for more than a few minutes at any one place. Do not allow the practice to become mechanical. Work in different ways according to the type of sensations you experience. Areas of the body having different gross sensations should be observed separately by moving the attention part by part. Symmetrical parts, such as both arms or both legs, having similar subtle sensations, may be observed together simultaneously. If you experience subtle sensations throughout the physical structure, you may at times sweep the entire body and then again work part by part."

3. Metta: This is loving-kindness meditation which is performed at the end of the Vipassana meditation. Again, quoting from the course material:

"At the end of the hour relax, letting any mental or physical agitation subside. Then focus your attention for a few minutes on subtle sensations in the body, and fill your mind and body with thoughts and feelings of goodwill for all beings."

My Journey:

As my ascent to Jade Palace (situated on a hill) began, I could see the outline of a Pagoda which was under construction.

Once I entered the Jade Palace, I had to deposit my mobile phone, wallet, any reading and writing material, etc. with the authorities. For the next 10 days, this was going to be my life - completely cut off from the world. Not that going off-grid has ever been troublesome for me but to stay without books and music was a challenge even for me. (Nobody ever said that the path to inner peace was going to be easy) While we are talking about hardships, let me also share with you my daily timetable that was followed during the course (this timetable is followed as it is throughout the world in all Vipassana courses):

In a nutshell, I was supposed to meditate 10 hours a day for 10 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As I was going through the timetable, I got the shock of my life - NO DINNER. WHAT????? So I talked to one of the administrators about this anomaly to which his reply was, "Let go. Let go of everything you know. Go with the flow of how things are. Do not resist. Do not strive too much for anything. If you struggle too much, you won't be reach anywhere.

So in my mind I was like, "Woah! Enlightenment and stuff. That's cool. But....but the stomach has its reasons which reason knows nothing of !! Anyway, their house, their rules. After the formalities, and saying goodbye to the world (basically my parents), I proceeded to the room that was allotted to me (Every participant gets a room to him/herself with an attached bathroom). As I checked my room number, I heard the laughter of Sean Connery, David Niven, George Lazenby, Roger Moore, Timothy Dalton, Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig. Why? 'Cos the goddamn room number was 007. Imagine that. James bond is a quintessential casanova who lives a life that most of us can only dream of and here I am, trying to live like a Buddhist monk for 10 days. At this point let me tell you that these courses are conducted free of cost (you don't even pay for your lodging). The reason behind this is beautiful - an essential part of a monk's life is begging for alms. Now the thing is that this course wants to emulate an environment where you own nothing (except your clothes of course) so that there is not even an iota of ego in you. You can't go and complain that you don't like the quality of the rooms or that you don't like to eat khichdi, etc. You own nothing. So no ego. Comprende?

When you become a warrior, you learn to meditate in every action. Let go of attachments, let go of your pride - Peaceful Warrior

As the sky turned from blue to black, we proceeded to the Pool of Scared Tears. As I sat on meditation cushion, Master Shifu pushed a button and Master Oogway welcomed us to the course (audio recording). He began by explaing the threefold training involved in the practice of Vipassana:

Sila: It talks about morality and has 5 precepts:

• to abstain from killing any living being.
• to abstain from stealing
• to abstain from sexual misconduct
• to abstain from wrong speech
• to abstain from all intoxicants

Samadhi: This is about concentration and obtaining mastery over the mind. In Smadhi, we practise the Anapana meditation to improve our concentration and sharpen our focus.

Panna: Pronounced as panya, it talks about wisdom and insight that purifies the mind. In Panna, we practise the technique of Vipassana meditation.

The cool part was that we had take a pledge in Pali language that we will follow the 5 precepts (sila). Then, we had to request master Shifu (in Pali) to allow us to practice Samadhi (which was basically Anapana meditation). Along with this we also had to take a pledge of Noble Silence (which means that we couldn't talk with anyone, not even through gestures, until the 9th day of the course). Once we were done with the formalities of PALInising, the course began :D.

Day 2 was notorious and had to be looked out for. Oogway had warned us in prior that everyone needs to be careful about day 2 and day 6 of the course because most people have a tendency of quitting the course on these days. Anyway, as I began the Anapana meditation, I was flabbergasted. I was just not able to focus. My mind was everywhere except on my breath. 

Sitting cross legged for hours was definitely becoming a pain in the ass (literally). I noticed that some older people and a few people of my age had already switched to chairs (or had taken a back support) from the cushion. So I approached Master Shifu to discuss the matter with him. Of course, I bowed:

Me: Master Shifu, I am just not able to concentrate. And to make things worse, my back is really hurting a lot. Can I please get a back support. I don't need a chair. I will manage with the cushion but please, a back support?

Shifu: (smiles) No.

Me: Huh? But I can't do without it.

Shifu: Pain, no pain, does it matter? It's all in the head. When pain arises, acknowledge the thought. Do not fight it. Do not suppress it. Let it be. And soon, your body will learn to work with pain. You will be able to concentrate on your breath. 

Somehow, I managed without a back support (for the entire 10 days. Yayyy!!). The 2nd day had come to an end. Even the 3rd day passed by very quickly and was exactly similar to the 2nd day. The 4th day on the other hand, was going to be the next leg of the journey.

On the 4th day, Master Oogway introduced us to the technique of Vipassana meditation and once again, we had to request Master Shifu (in Pali) to allow us to practice Vipassana. The thing about the entire technique is that you are no longer the doer. See in most forms of meditations and pranayams, you try to manipulate your breath. However, Vipassana (which means 'seeing things as they are') entails complete surrender to the reality. What we are supposed to is just observe various sensations that are cropping up in the body like vibrations, sweat, heat, cold, shiver, tension, pain, etc. One becomes a complete observer of the reality without reacting to anything. Whatever sensation arrives in the body, be it pleasant or unpleasant, we label it as 'anitya', that which is ephemeral. We realise the temporary nature of these sensations and do not develop any attachment to a pleasant sensation or aversion to any unpleasant sensation.

People are not their thoughts; they think they are. And this brings them all kinds of sadness - Peaceful Warrior

Of course, the mind will still wander. But once we have practised Anapana for a certain duration, the degree to which the mind wanders off diminishes to a great extent. We are quickly able to bring back our mind to the present moment when we realise that the mind is not concentrating on the sensations. One of the most important aspects of any form of meditation is to concentrate on the present moment. (Read about Eckhart Tolle)

I continued practising this technique but my mind was still not tamed. My mind was like a mad monkey that is drunk and has been stung by a scorpion. Never here, always there. Not in the now, but always in the past or in the future. Anyway, the bell chimed, as it always does at the end of every meditation session. So I got up from my cushion and moved towards 007 and I noticed a particular participant staring outside the window into an endless abyss, like he was contemplating something.

I couldn't stop myself from 'philosphizing' over the situation. What was he looking at? The beautiful greenery that surrounds the Jade Palace (couldn't capture it well in this photo)? Was he looking at the infinity of the sea? Or was he looking at the buildings, the civilization that we had been cut off from? Was he missing his life? Was he missing something or someone? What was it? And more importantly, why am I not having this feeling? Why don't I have anything to look for? How did I even land up in this situation? What is the cure for this emptiness? How do I fill the void? How? The very question that I thought wouldn't bother me for at least 10 days had resurfaced to haunt me. I entered my room and tried hard to slip away to the dream land, as if sleep has ever produced any meaningful answers in my life, let alone a solution for my existential crisis. What I didn't know that because of this chain of thoughts, the shit was about to hit the fan on the the dreaded 6th day.

Take out the trash from your mind, the trash is that which is keeping you away from the present moment - Peaceful Warrior

I had completely forgotten about Oogway's warning for the 6th day. I proceeded with my meditation and all of a sudden a certain negative thought completely overtook my mind. I tried to continue with the process, acknowledged the thought, said to myself that this is temporary and will fade away but it was of no avail. These kinds of thoughts used to disturb me in my normal life too but the intensity with which it was hitting me at that moment is something which I had never felt before. As we had been instructed earlier, to bring back the mind to the present moment, I switched to Anapana from Vipassana and began to concentrate on my breath but even that didn't work. In that moment, I felt completely hopeless and helpless, and I wanted to leave the Jade Palace. The thought was haunting and there was absolutely no way that I could continue with my practise. I wanted to quit. All of a sudden I realised that it was the 6th day and this is nothing but my mind playing its usual shit record. I opened my eyes and pacified myself so that I could focus on the present moment instead of ruminating. Of course I couldn't mediate after that but so be it. I didn't want to quit the course.

We also get the opportunity to privately interact with Master Shifu in case we have any questions. Until now, I had just basic doubts about the concept which I thought would be clarified as the course progresses. My 6th day debacle left me with no choice but to ask Master Shifu for some guidance at this juncture so that I could continue with my journey. 

Me: Master Shifu, I have 3 things in mind that are bothering me. Two are related to the theoretical aspect of Vipassana and the other one has to do with the practical aspect.

Shifu: Proceed.

Me: Master Oogway said that we must not get attached to any sensation be it good or bad. Attachments and aversions are the problem of everything. Am I correct in my understanding? (Please note that attachment/aversion leading to the generation of samskaras and eventually karma, is a bit complicated concept to explain here. You can read about it on wikipedia/quora. My question was pertaining to this chain)

Shifu: Yes, that's correct.

Me: Let me proceed with an example. If we get a simple cut on our finger, we don't bother much about it as we know that it is a temporary one and will heal in no time. Of course, there is no reason for any attachment or aversion here. So I do not react. However, if I get a major injury and continue with the thought that this sensation of pain is temporary, won't it prohibit me from seeking medical attention.

Shifu: No. You are mistaken. The objective is not to make you resilient to pain. Of course not. Seek the correct course of action during major injury, even minor one for that matter. What we are really trying to say is that you should detach yourself from this pain. You must not complain, "O Why me? Why am I so unlucky? Why does it happen to me always". No. You must stop yourself right there. Learn how you can avoid this mistake but do not cling to it. Move on. This is easier said than done but it comes from practice.

Emotion is natural. Life's passing weather - Peaceful Warrior

Shifu: (Pauses and gazes off into the distance)

Shifu: It's not that we are not supposed to have any goals.

Me: (in my mind - What????? How did he know that my next question was going to be about goals and desires. Can Master Shifu read minds? OMG OMG OMG!)

Shifu: In fact, you are supposed to have ambitions. It is necessary for growth. But you must work with complete detachment.

Me: (in my mind - yea yea! They all say the same thing. Bhagvad Gita says the same thing. But how? How does one work without any attachments?)

Shifu: You will learn how. Oogway will talk about this later on. With practise of Vipassana where you label every sensation as 'anitya' (ephemeral), you will master the technique. You must be patient.

You don't have to give up on your dream. You need to surrender that one thing which you never have and never will: control. Accept it - Peaceful Warrior

Me: Thank you. Now I want to talk about the practise. (So I told about the emotional upheaval that I faced during meditation and how I was just not able to meditate any further)

Shifu: That's bound to happen. Do not be discouraged by it. As you continue with the practise, you will have many such instances where a deep rooted samskara (impression on the subconscious mind) surfaces on the body-level. Let it be. It's good. It will happen again. Do not focus too much on this. Continue with the process.

Me: Thank you Master Shifu!

Phew! It is then I realised that Viapssana is not what I had anticipated it to be. I had imagined a peaceful retreat in to the quietude of Jade Palace for 10 days where I would feel blissful by simple manipulation of the breath. On the contrary, it was proving to be a disaster; every second of going inward was nothing but a battle with myself, my own anxieties that I had nourished over the years by feeding them with doubt and incessant fears.

A warrior is not about perfection, or a victory, or invulnerability. He is about absolute vulnerability. That's the only true courage - Peaceful Warrior

A good thing about the course was that breakfast and lunch used to be quite sumptuous. Of course, there was no limit on the number of helpings pertaining to which many of us tried to hog as much as we could since we were not allowed to eat anything after 5:30 pm. However, that's a rookie mistake. The more you eat, the lesser you will be able to concentrate. So the only option was to become gluttonous at 5:30 pm. Alas, there was a catch to this too. FOR 10 FREAKING DAYS, WE HAD TO EAT THE SAME THING AT 5:30 PM. YAAAA!! SAME THING. After 2-3 days you just get so bored of it that the very sight of the same food starts making you a bit uncomfortable. How do you deal with the same thing again and again and again?

After few minutes into the meditation on 8th day, all of a sudden I expereinced a weird sensation throughout my body. This is something which I had never felt before and didn't feel it afterwards. It was as if my entire body was in some sort of magnetic field and I was being lifted in the air. It felt AWESOMEEEE. But Master Oogway had been very particular about the fact that one must not get attached to any such pleasurable sensation for the entire purpose of the meditation gets ruined. It felt good though 😛. 

At the end of the final meditation session, Shifu got up, bowed, and left the Sacred Pool of Tears without saying a word. The master had completed his journey.

A very much anticipated day was the 10th day of the course when everyone would get back their belongings (including mobile phones) and the pledge of Noble Silence had to be broken. For 9 days, the Jade palace was ensued in a pin drop silence. But on the last day of the course, the cacophonous environment brought us back to our normal lives. I met some really cool people over there - an English lit. proffessor who has spent a considerable amount of time in the mountains of Himachal Pradesh and holds an extensive knowledge on various spiritual practices like Tibetan Buddhism, etc. I met a professor of nano particle physics; and then I happened to come a cross a gentleman who was on a sabbatical and was planning a roadtrip: Mumbai - Kanyakumari - Vishakhapatnam - West Bengal - Bhutan (the whole freaking coastline of India and then Bhutan).

As the end of the course was approaching, we were taken on a tour of the Pagoda which was situated right next to the Jade Palace. On one side we had the lush greenery and the sea, other side had the view of the hills, and from one end we could see the hustle bustle of cars and people going about their daily lives. A completely favourable setting for contemplation and writing:

A seeker: It has been a long journey. 10 long days. Although I don't think I have found inner peace (and will most definitely not even in the near future), a lot of concepts about Karma, Dharma, Samskaras, subconscious mind, habits, etc. have become more lucid. However, there are many things that still don't make any sense. Why must the path to happiness for certain individuals be covered with stardust and rose petals, and for some it is lined up with thorns and pebbles? Why?

First realisation of a warrior: not knowing - Peaceful Warrior

A voice: You must understand that happiness is not a destination, it is a journey. The wise one understands this. "When I have that, I will be happy" - there is a big problem in this. Your happiness is dependent on an object or a person. But life is unpredictable and this very object/person of your longing can always be taken away from you. Hence, you are always overwhelmed by the ebbs and flows of life. You think that some people have it easy. What do you know about their lives, their sufferings and agony? What you see is what you chose to see. 

A seeker: But.....what if it doesn't work out? What will be the point of anything that I have done so far?

A voice: Ah! You think too much! As a result, it is not you but your fears who do the talking most of the time. Where from do your fears find the necessary nutrition to stay alive? Your thoughts. You are either in the past or in the future. You are never here. When you develop awareness of your breath, you will learn the art of being in the moment. The path to inner wisdom is not easy. It's like going up a mountain on a bicycle. You either move ahead or you move behind. You must keep practising the art of being in the moment. Then and only then will yours fears begin to diminish.

A seeker: And the pain? What about the pain? Doesn't pain inhibit progress?

A voice: Didn't a famous author once say that pain demands to be felt? Wise words, O seeker! Embrace the pain. The more you try to block it, the worse it gets. Many make the mistake of hiding themselves in order to remain free from the pangs of pain. What they don't realise is that they end up hiding even from themselves. Pain arises when you are not in harmony with your true nature. And the only way of finding who you are is to go deep within. 

A seeker: You mean to say that if I find inner peace, everything will fall into place?

A voice: Maybe it will, maybe it won't. Things will continue to fall into and out of place. That's how things work. Sometimes we get what we want and sometimes we don't. A true warrior is well cognisant of the nature of universe. To do that you must tame your mind, and understand who you truly are. When you find that out, you realise what your fears are. And once the fear has been understood, you become invincible. A warrior knows how to be in unity with the flow of the universe, like water. Be like water. Water never resists. It doesn't struggle or create a ruckus when it doesn't seem to reach its destination. And yet, it always does reach its destination. How do you think that happens? Persistence. Perseverance. Water represents one of the greatest wisdom known to mankind - Flow

A seeker: What if it takes an eternity? I can not keep 'flowing' forever. What if I take the wrong direction and end up nowhere?

A voice: Flowing doesn't mean being lethargic or completely surrendering to the happenings. A true warrior recognises the middle path and knows well when to flow and when to crash. That is the wisdom of the highest order. Why do you think there is so much conflict in minds of those who are just beginning their spiritual journey like yourself? It is easy to completely surrender to how things are, and it is equally easy to keep on fighting incessantly. A true warrior knows that neither strategy is effective in the long term. He who has spent a considerable amount of time understanding his own nature through meditation knows when he is on track and when he is going off the mark. He knows that even if universe keeps throwing him in an undesirable place, there are lessons to be learnt in that darkness; that certain treasures can only be found in the ruins. 

A seeker: Sigh!

A voice: You want to fly and yet you are unable to do so. Do you know why? Your past is weighing you down. The 'pain' that you carry in your heart prevents you from taking the leap of faith. A true warrior knows that pain is a lesson in disguise. Didn't the wise Sufi saint Rumi said that "You have to keep breaking your heart until it opens up". All these years you built walls around you to protect yourself. Now its time to let it go. It is time for the walls to fall and it is going to hurt, boy it's going to hurt! Promise me that you will embrace the pain and won't give up when you face difficulties in life. Promise me that whenever things cease to make sense and it feels that universe is restricting your growth, you will go to the deepest recesses of your mind. Promise me that you will harness your 'chi' and will flow with the universe for it knows what you desire. 

A seeker: Hmmm, makes sense. But wait a minute! How do you know all this? And who are you?

A voice: I am neither this nor that. I neither exist nor do I not exist. I am neither here nor there. I am as old as the sun and yet I was born a trillionth of a second ago. I have always been and will always be. I am omnipotent yet I am powerless before you. I am omniscient yet my knowledge is incomparable to yours. I am a part of you. I am your consciousness.

A seeker: And in that case, who am I?

A voice: Always remember this my child, you are.................the Dragon Warrior!!

A seeker: 😲

--------------------------------------------------THE END--------------------------------------------------------

Before the battle of the fist, 

comes the battle of the mind!

Case Study:

Vipassana meditation was introduced in Tihar Jail by the legendary IPS officer, Kiran Bedi. A case study was made on the same:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WkxSyv5R1sg